Top 5 Ways to Mourn When Something You Love is Stolen

Last year my husband’s four thousand dollar piano keyboard was stolen from our car. The entire crime was captured on our apartment building’s surveillance camera. There it was, 12:03 pm and someone managed to effortlessly steal a 5 foot long keyboard out of our car right in front of our apartment building. We were shocked, angry, and then sad. My husband loved that keyboard. He worked really hard while in college to save up the money to buy it and now it was gone. The weeks that followed were full of many recounts of what occurred. We talked about what happened with each other, shared it with friends and we thought about it when we were quiet.

If you have ever had anything stolen you know that it sucks! You feel all sorts of feelings. Often there are intense feelings of anger and sadness. Today I came accross the video footage of the keyboard being stolen and it got me thinking about how remarkable it is that we form attachment to things. How we can unconditionally love an inanimate object. We work hard to get these “things” and when the love is really intense we can resort to all sorts of behaviors. We can neglect relationships with people so that we can reserve space in our hearts for “things”. Other times the “thing” holds sentimental value and we are reluctant to part with it even when our life journey no longer allows for its presence.

I figured I would share some ways you can express your grief if you have gone through a similar experience or you have voluntary given away something you love.

5 Ways to Mourn When Something You Love is Stolen
1. Have a full on conniption (with runny snot, tears that flow into mouth, flailing arms and stomping of the feet).
2. Sing a song in memory of the object that was stolen that expresses why you fell in love with it and why you are going to miss it now that it’s gone.
3. Make a T-shirt with a picture of the object that was stolen on the front with words that read “In memory of ….”
4. Open up a window in your home, stick your head out and scream “Why?”
5. Post an obscure facebook status about your past facebook statuses about how awesome the stolen object was, Tweet about the facebook obscure status you just posted and then instagram a picture of yourself posting the obscure facebook status.

Then I realized that there is a better way….

Top 5 Ways to Mourn When Something You Love is Stolen
1. Don’t stay angry and sad.
2. Take inventory of all the wonderful people, positive experiences in your life and celebrate.
3. Be grateful
4. Be generous
5. Accept help when you know you need it.

Holding My Breath While Swimming on Land

I have always been fascinated by the thrill seekers. The skydivers and extreme sport athletes, the ones who belong to the adventurous tribe, that scour the mundane of its safety and evoke in the rest of us the trepidation we have about the unknown. I have always thought that if I could jump out of a plane or jump from a cliff into the ocean I would be cured of all my fears and live everyday triumphantly. Well, I never built up the courage to jump. In fact, I didn’t jump at all, into anything. Instead, my thrills were obtained from how many times I could say “no” to the adventures that emerged from out of my mundane. It took a lot of work to avoid participating in activities that I wanted to do as a kid, it took much effort to quit perusing my interests and I had to use all sorts of techniques to maneuver out of the hands of purpose. It was exhausting.

Swimming against the current of possibility and the rhythms of life hinders us from riding waves of grace.

Fast forward many years and here I am, trying to breathe and walk in my own shoes. I’m taking the risk to love and forgive myself, to practice humility and freely give as it has been given to me.  One way I am practicing this is by allowing myself to experience joy in the nuances of motherhood.

The Launch

IMG_5213 (2)

I waited for you in Jubilant expectation,
expecting to hold a piece of heaven
an unmarred piece of me and husband

Waiting, I anticipated

In waiting, I longed for you to come into existence

You gazed into my light, my spirit and were kept inside me

Breath!

Then there you were inhaling our ever present consciousness,
embracing all the love that exploded from within our core

You renamed me Mother and I am eternally changed

You look into my eyes and fill me with gratitude and hope that we are still being transformed into new creations

You heighten my senses.

You embody God’s grace on the earth, that we can be born again, received with a heart that longs to hold us.