My Way of Escape

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The frantic mind never stops racing.  When it pauses in defeat it reloads and picks up right where it left off.  Several years ago I discovered that there is no perfect me, but my thoughts keep on concocting  ways to fix my brokenness.   When I realize that there is no quick fix I feel my soul collapse inside my body. When I stay within myself as the center of my universe, time stops, but I continue to sink deeper into my “me”. Is this hell? All me, all the time?

My way of escape is to acknowledge that I do not exist in isolation. I ask for forgiveness realizing that I am a part of a larger narrative a true reality outside of my “me”. A reality that is  moving and breathing. The “now” that is desiring and needs my full presence. The “now” includes  things that I dread doing or am fearful of, the people who I am in relationship with and places that I need to be. I am still  praying that I will be brave and that I can except my brokenness.  I am praying I can surrender to humility  so that my mind can retire from the marathon.

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