The frantic mind never stops racing. When it pauses in defeat it reloads and picks up right where it left off. Several years ago I discovered that there is no perfect me, but my thoughts keep on concocting ways to fix my brokenness. When I realize that there is no quick fix I feel my soul collapse inside my body. When I stay within myself as the center of my universe, time stops, but I continue to sink deeper into my “me”. Is this hell? All me, all the time?
My way of escape is to acknowledge that I do not exist in isolation. I ask for forgiveness realizing that I am a part of a larger narrative a true reality outside of my “me”. A reality that is moving and breathing. The “now” that is desiring and needs my full presence. The “now” includes things that I dread doing or am fearful of, the people who I am in relationship with and places that I need to be. I am still praying that I will be brave and that I can except my brokenness. I am praying I can surrender to humility so that my mind can retire from the marathon.
